Do Schizoids love? (9 insights)

This blog post aims to answer the question, “Do Schizoids love?” and explore who schizoids are, their traits, behaviours and tendencies to help determine if schizoids are capable of love. 

Do Schizoids love?

Yes, schizoids can love. The following are 9 insights into Schizoids’ experience of love –

  • Schizoids are distrustful of others.
  • Schizoids become self-contained.
  • Schizoids have a poor sense of self-awareness.
  • Distancing defences are used by Schizoids to protect themselves.
  • Schizoids have never learned to compromise.
  • Schizoids are frightened.
  • Schizoids discover ways to work together.
  • Emotionally, schizoids may shut off.
  • Common schizoid love compromises.

These 9 insights into Schizoids’ experience of love will be discussed in further detail below after taking a deeper look at who Schizoids are. 

Who are schizoids?

Individuals with Schizoid Personality Disorder are known as Schizoids. Schizoid personality disorder is a rare illness in which persons shun social activities and avoid interacting with others on a regular basis. They can also only convey a restricted variety of emotions.

You may be perceived as a loner or dismissive of others if you have schizoid personality disorder, and you may lack the desire or ability to build intimate personal relationships. You may look as if you don’t care about others or what’s going on around you since you don’t display emotion.

Schizoid personality disorder has no recognised aetiology. Talk therapy and, in certain situations, medication may be beneficial.

Symptoms.

It’s probable that if you have schizoid personality disorder, you’ll –

  • Prefer to be alone and prefer to accomplish things alone.
  • Close connections aren’t something you seek or enjoy.
  • Feel a lack of desire for sexual connections, if any at all.
  • Feel as though you won’t be able to enjoy yourself?
  • Have difficulties expressing feelings and reacting to circumstances properly
  • Others may perceive you as humourless, uninterested, or emotionally frigid.
  • It’s possible that you’re lacking in drive and ambitions.
  • Don’t respond to compliments or criticism from others.

Schizoid personality disorder generally manifests itself in early adulthood, however certain symptoms may appear as early as childhood. These characteristics may make it difficult for you to perform properly at school, at work, socially, or in other aspects of your life. However, if you work alone most of the time, you may be able to do quite well in your career.

Despite being a separate condition, schizoid personality disorder shares several characteristics with schizotypal personality disorder and

schizophrenia, such as a significant lack of social ties and emotional expressiveness. People who suffer from these conditions may be thought of as weird or eccentric.

Unlike schizotypal personality disorder and schizophrenia, which have similar names, patients with schizoid personality disorder —

  • They have a strong sense of reality and are unlikely to suffer from paranoia or hallucinations.
  • Make sense when they talk (even if the tone isn’t vibrant), so they don’t have weird and difficult-to-follow conversational patterns.

Causes.

Personality refers to the unique blend of ideas, feelings, and behaviours that characterises you. It’s how you perceive the world, comprehend it, and react to it, as well as how you see yourself. 

Personality emerges during childhood, moulded by a combination of genetic traits and environmental influences. Children learn to detect social cues properly and behave appropriately throughout time as part of their natural development. 

Although a mix of genetic and environmental variables, particularly in early life, may play a role in the development of schizoid personality disorder, it is unknown what causes it.

What are these 9 insights into Schizoids’ experience of love?

Schizoids are distrustful of others.

My clients describe being abused, neglected, undervalued, or intruded upon as youngsters. They were viewed as “things,” instead of human beings with feelings and rights. They discovered that the adults in their lives could not be relied upon to love and protect them on a constant basis.

Schizoids become self-contained.

The majority of my Schizoid clients are fiercely self-sufficient. They never want to be reliant on another person to provide for their fundamental necessities. They tend to conserve money, live alone, and work in places where they have some control over their own space. If I were to sum them up in one word, it would be self-sufficient.

Schizoids have a poor sense of self-awareness.

They lacked a strong, consistent inner sense of self as a result of their upbringing. Because the borders safeguarding their sense of “This is who I am and this is what I believe” is weak and porous, they are extremely sensitive to the incursion. 

They occasionally have the frightening feeling of other people’s thoughts and behaviours infiltrating and influencing how they think and act.

Distancing defences are used by Schizoids to protect themselves.

My Schizoid clients use a number of techniques to maintain what they perceive to be a safe distance from others. This includes preserving a psychological and emotional distance as well as keeping a physical distance (living alone, not carelessly touching others, standing apart) (keeping secrets, having a rich fantasy life, falling in love with unavailable people).

Schizoids have never learned to compromise.

Most of my Schizoid clients come to therapy with the assumption that whoever is the dominant person in the relationship gets to make all of the rules, just like it was in their upbringing. The only other option is to flee.

A large part of their treatment is on teaching them that (1) negotiation and compromise are feasible, (2) they have the right to bargain for what they want (rather than just giving up or leaving), and (3) how to negotiate.

Schizoids are frightened.

Love, passion, and understanding are all things that people with Schizoid Personality Disorder yearn for. Unfortunately, prior interpersonal traumas, childhood abuse, and indifferent or intrusive parents have made them terrified of intimacy. 

They are terrified of losing their independence and being ruled by the wants of others. Because they feel insecure about relying on others, they frequently react to these worries by becoming fiercely independent.

Schizoids discover ways to work together.

They frequently seek out acceptable compromises in relationships that offer them as much intimacy as they can bear while maintaining walls to protect them from feeling overwhelmed.

Emotionally, schizoids may shut off.

When people with Schizoid adaptations become too close to one other, they tend to emotionally shut down, disassociate, or find a cause to stop the connection.

Common schizoid love compromises.

Long Distance Relationships.

They fall in love with someone who has Schizoid difficulties and lives far away from them. A few times a year, they feel secure spending a passionate weekend together. 

In the meanwhile, they communicate via text messages and phone conversations. Neither of them tries to persuade the other to move in with them.

Married Relationships.

They fall in love with a married person and enjoy a passionate relationship. They feel secure expressing their affection as long as the other person is married. They each have varying levels of self-awareness regarding their circumstances and what allows them to freely express their love.

The naïve Schizoid lover will sometimes ask the other person to divorce them and marry them. It is common for a married lover to leave their partner for their Schizoid lover to be disappointed. 

Now that there are no impediments to closeness, the Schizoid person gets afraid and withdraws from the connection. This may occur several times before the Schizoid person recognises his or her own limitations.

Love Triangles.

Some of my Schizoid clients marry, but they find the one-on-one connection unsatisfying—usually, because the intimacy makes them feel threatened. They get “bored” and fall in love with someone new all of a sudden. 

They frequently try to persuade their partner to join them in this love triangle since it fulfils their needs. They might make their wife a sexless mother figure, while the new person becomes the romantically wanted sexual partner. 

If they marry the one who is now the coveted one, she will be shifted out of that job and someone else will be sought to take her place. It appears to be about finding passion on the surface, but it is truly about feeling protected.

Marrying an Unintimate Partner. 

This can come in a variety of forms. Two cerebral Schizoids might marry and have a calm, primarily intellectual relationship. Alternatively, a Schizoid person may marry someone who does not reciprocate their feelings. 

They may comfortably adore and desire more love from their partner, but they don’t have to cope with the internal issues that true intimacy brings up.

Fantasy Relationships.

Because they are terrified of genuine relationships, some Schizoid people fall in love with celebrities they only know through television shows. They create complex and gratifying dreams about a hypothetical connection with this individual. 

A more usual variant is that they dream about someone they see periodically in class, at work, or at the neighbourhood Starbucks. Schizoid Personality Disorder sufferers can and do fall in love. The majority of their issues revolve around how to feel comfortable while expressing their love.

People who have adapted to their Schizoid state typically long for love and connection. The issue is that their issues and defences obstruct their capacity to form and maintain love bonds.

Conclusion – 

This blog post aimed to answer the question, “Do Schizoids love?” and reviewed who schizoids are, their traits, behaviours and tendencies to help determine if schizoids are capable of loving. Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments you may have.

References –

Is it possible for a schizoid person to fall in love? Quora. (n.d.). Retrieved from  https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-for-a-schizoid-person-to-fall-in-love

Greenberg, E.  Are You in Love With Someone Who Has a Personality Disorder? (2021, August 26). Retrieved from  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-narcissism/202108/are-you-in-love-someone-who-has-personality-disorder

Kronk, P. What do you do when the one you love can’t love you back? (2018, February 2). Retrieved from https://www.knoxnews.com/story/life/family/2018/02/02/what-do-you-do-when-one-you-love-cant-love-you-back/300216002/

Raypole, C. Think You Might Have Schizoid Personality Disorder? Read This (2021, October 14). Retrieved from  https://psychcentral.com/health/signs-of-schizoid-personality-disorder

Do Those with Schizoid Personality Disorder Often Suffer from Addiction? American Addiction Centers. (2020, February 3). Retrieved from  https://americanaddictioncenters.org/personality-disorders/schizoid

Proulx, A. 4 Common Myths About Schizoid Personality Disorder. (2021, June 29). Retrieved from  https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/schizoid-personality-disorder/schizoid-myths/

Schizoid personality disorder. Mayo Clinic Staff. (2017, August 17). Retrieved from  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/schizoid-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20354414

Valasikova, S. Don’t Touch Me! Or How to Identify a Schizoid Partner. (2018, July 17). Retrieved from  https://medium.com/@SilviaValasik/dont-touch-me-or-how-to-identify-a-schizoid-partner-630dd6c4a45a

Schizoid personality disorder. Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. (2022, March 6). Retrieved from  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder

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