So, you’ve been told by a friend that an INFP you know may have a crush on you, and you don’t believe them. Or maybe you suspect that there may be something going on, but you want to be sure. You’ve come to the right place!
I am an INFP, and I’m here to help you figure out if the INFP in your life has a crush on you. It is harder to detect than you think. So, first, I’m going to tell you some very common characteristics that INFPs have, that you need to rule out first.
INFPs are generally nice and polite people.
If you’ve met an INFP, and they seem to be super nice to you, it’s because they are nice. Their politeness is often mistaken to be something more, but INFPs are really kind people. They have very strong values and are extremely compassionate. They understand that people don’t wear signs that show other people that they’re suffering, and so, as a general rule, INFPs are nice to everyone.
When someone who is having a difficult day talks to an INFP, they always begin to feel better. Because that’s just the sort of energy they radiate.
INFPs love to help people.
No, really. An INFP cannot stand by when they realize someone needs their help. They’re empaths, which means that they can sense the emotional state that somebody is in without them ever having to share. So, if they see you and they feel like you need them to be there for you, they will be more than available. Do not confuse that with them having a crush on you, because things can get awkward real soon.
INFPs are suckers for a lost soul.
Believe it or not, INFPs are the kind of people who believe that they need to fix things for people, and save them whenever need be. So, if someone has particularly been having a hard time lately, or if they struggle with addiction, difficult childhood or anything that makes them the perfect specimen for them to save, an INFP will be drawn to that person.
Strangely enough, even someone who is as in tune with their emotions and thoughts as an INFP, they might themselves confuse their saviour complex as actually having feelings for them. This may sound kind of mean to read, but truth is, they’re only interested in someone like that because of the tragedy, and it has very little to do with how someone is as a person.
TV shows and movies may romanticize the whole bad boy/girl situation, but it is a simple fact, that we all need to heal ourselves or get professional help before we can make someone else happy. But we’re getting off topic.
Okay, so how do you know if an INFP actually has a crush on you? Here are some things you need to know, that may or may not be helpful.
We fantasize about out crushes. Constantly.
If there’s one thing that INFPs are really good at, it’s creating an imaginative world so vivid and in depth, that it almost feels real to us. We often drift off into elaborate scenarios related to just about anything. And so, if and INFP develops a crush on someone, that person will appear as the guest of honour in all of their fantasies and scenarios.
They could be getting an award for best actor, and their crush would be front and centre, witnessing it all, admiring how beautiful and incredibly talented their INFP is.
See, that sounds strange to someone who is not an Idealist, but my fellow INFPs will know exactly what I’m talking about.
We text our crushes. Constantly.
That’s right. When I say “constantly”, I mean it. INFPs are consistent with texts. They are good at texting, too. They are actually really amazing at expressing their feelings when they have the time and space to contemplate what it is that they want to convey. So, what an INFP can’t say to someone’s face, they say through text.
Expect a lot of emojis, too. They love using emojis. And I’ll tell you why. Because when an INFP texts you, chances are, things will get really deep. They will write paragraphs. Yes, plural. They will overshare their feelings, and let you know everything there is in their life. Because they feel emotions to a depth most people don’t even know exists, and they want you to feel it too.
So, in order to make sure that things don’t get too heavy, they will use different emojis throughout.
We try to learn everything there is to learn about our crushes.
INFPs are generally always concerned about other people, and when it comes to someone they find themselves attracted towards, romantically as well as platonically, they try their best to get them to open up. It isn’t difficult for them either, because people generally open up to INFPs very easily. They do that, so that they can be there for the person and help them if there’s a need. And once someone does begin to open up, it becomes easier for the INFP to be able to develop trust on them, and they find it easier to reveal their own true self to said person.
We INFPs will let out our inner freak in front of our crushes.
Most probably through text, in the beginning, an INFP will begin to open up to you after they’ve gotten you to open up to them. This brings, with itself, a side of INFPs, that only a few people who are close to them know of. INFPs are pretty weird. In fact, they’re kind of freaks. They have weird likes and dislikes, quirks, and they say and do all kinds of weird things that other people may find extremely odd. But other people never do, because they never get to see this side of an INFP.
So, if you do get to experience them be strange and even cringe-y, know that the INFP has a crush on you, and that they’re beginning to get comfortable with you.
We like to suggest things to our crushes that we can do with them.
When I say things, I mean activities. An INFP tries to be very clever, but a very clear sign that they’re crushing on you, would be if they directly or indirectly always come up with plans that involve the two of you being together. They might suggest them to mutual friends, but it is always ideal for an INFP to plan something that involves two people – their crush and them.
And no, that isn’t a scheme to get themselves some alone time with their crush. Well, mostly. INFPs are just not very fond of group activities that involve a lot of people.
We will go to social events simply to be close to our crushes.
A sure-fire way to know if an INFP is crushing on you is if they are willing to be present at a lot of social events just so they can be in the general physical proximity as you. They don’t even need to talk to you, they are most likely to just stare at you from across the room. And, despite how much being around so many people exhausts them, they’re more likely than not to be present, especially if you invite them.
We constantly stare at our crushes.
Yes, INFPs will be giving you intense stares. Especially at a point when they’re not at close to them. That being said, the staring ends as soon as they’re caught, and is replaced by awkwardly looking around, and maybe even pretending that they were focusing on something or someone else in their general direction.
INFPs hate making eye contact with people; it makes them self-conscious, especially if they were just caught staring; in that case, they want to melt and get absorbed into the earth.
We are all over the place.
Seriously! If an INFP has a crush on you, they will be extremely confused as to how to act around you. One day, they will be all over you, sending you long texts, giving hints, and what not. The very next day they will be cold, and not talk the entire day. They will try to give you leads, then play hard to get. They will be shy, and then all of a sudden, wouldn’t stop showering you with compliments.
We will do anything and everything to make our crushes happy.
Sounds about right. INFPs are caring and considerate people. If they are taking interest in you, it is evidence that you mean something to them. They will get you the most thoughtful little presents, make you laugh, let you express yourself without any judgement or fear, and will be on standby for you, in case you need something from them.
INFPs are not pushovers, but they will absolutely let someone they have a crush on get away with a lot of things a random person they don’t really know wouldn’t.
If you do end up determining whether the INFP in your life, and if the answer is ‘yes’, take it from an INFP who has had her heart broken, please do not lead an INFP on. If you have no intention of taking things further with them, don’t make them believe that they’ve got a shot with you, no matter how much you enjoy being the centre of the universe to an INFP.
However, if the feelings are mutual, then oh, my God! I am so happy for you! You might want to be the first one to make the move, though. INFPs aren’t good at it. But that’s a discussion for another time. Good luck!