How are INFPs in bed?

This is great. Making an INFP talk about sex! The world’s most intimate activity, which should be less of a taboo to talk about at this point in the century, but still manages to hold its place in the Taboo Topics – Hall of Fame. It is a good thing that I get to write about this, instead of being surrounded by a bunch of people as I share very, very intimate details about the sex life of an INFP, while indirectly talking about my own. 

I have had a very difficult relationship with sex. Not because I’m an INFP, no. This one can solely be attributed to South Asian values. But that’s not why we’re here today. I am going to dissect an INFP’s sexual life, desires, fantasies, and the way they view the idea of being physically intimate with another person. Without further ado, let’s go make me awkwar- I mean, let’s go talk about how INFPs are in bed.

They are Demi-sexual beings. 

A demi-sexual is someone who feels sexually attracted to someone when they have developed a strong emotional bond with them. As we all know, INFPs are feelers, and their lives are heavily dominated by their emotions. These people have the ability to feel things with a depth and intensity that is unfathomable to most other types. When it comes to people in an INFP’s life, evidence suggests that these introverted feelers tend to be inclined towards creating an emotional bond with people they see potential in.

It should come as no surprise to know that when it comes to forming a sexual connection with someone, an INFP’s main goal is to create mutual trust and respect first, and develop an emotional attachment with said person before they can open up to them sexually. 

They are givers. 

You may or may not know that in any relationship, there are people who give, and then there are those who take. A connection is strong when there is a balance between the giving and taking between two friends, lovers, etc. At the risk of sounding a lot like Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S trying to write a speech for Monica and Chandler, INFPs are givers through and through. 

When they’re in a sexual relationship with someone, these people tend to make everything about their partner. This quality of theirs really, truly comes forth when they’re in bed, and they are comfortable enough being around their partner in such a vulnerable manner. 

An INFP is very generous to their lovers, and believe in making it all about them. They feel satisfied only when they know they’re giving all their attention to the person they’re with, often focusing entirely on the needs of their partner. This does not mean they’re saints who don’t care about their own needs, though. On the contrary, an INFP feels most satisfied and even prideful at times, when they know that they’ve satisfied their partner to the best of their abilities. 

They are explorative.  

INFPs are generally curious in nature. They constantly ponder on different concepts and ideas. From questioning the entirety of the universe, to learning about how soda cans are put into place, these introverts get fascinated by all sorts of things. They have an itch to get answers to philosophical questions, and technical ones, alike. They want to find out divine truths like what happens after we die, and they are no different when it comes to matters of sexual nature. 

To an INFP, sex is more of a spiritual and transformative experience than a sensory one. They believe in exploring the realm of sexuality and being sexually interactive with another human being, and trying out new and different things just to satiate their inner curiosity. 

A perfect sexual partner for an INFP would be someone who has both the determination as well as boldness to share in their inquisitiveness, and explore different areas of being sexually intimate. Because – and this is why being an INFP’s lover may not be everyone’s cup of tea – these introverts are not concerned with how odd or weird something seems, they simply want to be able to feel things they may never be able to feel if they were to stick to conventional sex.

They know what they want. 

An INFP, while being someone who generally struggles with decision making, is also someone who knows exactly what it is they’re looking for in a sexual partner. They like to explore and try out different things to ensure maximum satisfaction, but that doesn’t mean they’re looking for something or that they’re confused. INFPs know what their idea of an ideal sexual relationship is. They’re idealists, for heaven’s sake! They have a very clear picture of what they require in a relationship, and they stop at nothing, until they find that. 

I know that there are a lot of people out there who learn to adjust to having an average sex life, but none of those people would be an INFP. 

They are kinky. 

I don’t think this is going to surprise anyone who knows an INFP. These introverts are generally seen as being excessively weird. And INFPs don’t try to do or say strange things, it just keeps on happening to them. They don’t make much sense to most people, and may also often come off as a little creepy at times, but they make sense to the people with whom they are close. 

That being said, when it comes to matters related to sexual needs, INFPs can be quite freaky, and borderline, if not absolutely, perverse and filthy. It is difficult for an INFP to come across someone they can own their sexuality with, because most people might find the things they like to be twisted and a little too intense. 

They are sensitive.

INFPs know what they can be like in bed, and they know how most people would react, upon finding out that their idea of having a good time involves being unconventional and weird. Which is why they don’t feel comfortable opening up to someone, until and unless they are sure that their sexual preferences will not be met with ridicule or disgust.

It is known that INFPs are sensitive beings. They feel emotions excessively deeply, and so, they can be extra sensitive to both internal and external stimuli. It makes sense. Sexual intimacy is no different for the INFP type, because it requires absolute emotional and physical vulnerability, which they usually struggle with. However, once they do allow someone in, it. Is. ON! All cards on the table, every single emotion absorbed and displayed, it truly can get quite intense being sexually involved with an INFP. 

They are their partners’ cheerleaders. 

For an INFP, the most important thing would be to let their partners know and see themselves through the eyes of their introverted feelers. An INFP is usually their lover’s biggest cheerleader, and they aren’t afraid to show it. They are highly devoted to their partners, and see them as the most attractive, sexiest people they cannot keep their eyes and hands off of. 

INFPs help rid their partner of their insecurities and bring their attention to all the wondrous things they can be. 

They are trusting.

When an INFP is intimate with someone, they tend to put their faith in their partner entirely. Because, to them, the questioning and investigating phase takes place before they can ever allow someone to be this close to them. And so, they don’t struggle with believing that their lover is going to satisfy their every need, while also making them feel secure and comfortable.

They are… not casual. 

An INFP may, due to their explorative nature, try casual sex, simply for the sake of experience and having fun. However, they don’t end up feeling fully satisfied when things are only physical. They don’t feel comfortable without developing a strong emotional bond with someone, and so, they find it to be unfulfilling. An INFP knows that being with someone just for the sake of sexual gains is not a good choice for them.

This doesn’t mean that they search for their soul-mate, and expect that whoever they become sexually intimate with, are never going to walk away. Like I said, INFPs are demi-sexual, so, for them, the important part is to be able to have a strong emotional connection that can only help enhance their sexual connection and chemistry when they’re in bed together. 

I’m not sure if reading this piece is going to attract any people towards having sex with an INFP, or scare them off, but to conclude, INFPs crave emotional connections, give more importance to making their lovers happy, and like to explore and be weird and borderline insane when it comes to trying out new things. INFPs are also highly sensitive beings, which allows them to feel sexual connections with great depth and intensity, and they have faith in their partners. An INFP lover is the best at hyping their partner up, and seeing beauty and potential in them in all states.