How can an INTJ make friends? (7 ways)

This blog post aims to answer the question, “How can an INTJ make friends?” and explores the various aspects of the life of this Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality type called INTJ to find 7 ways that could help an INTJ make friends.

How can an INTJ make friends?

An INTJ can make friends with the help of the following 7 ways –

  • Change your perspective.
  • Do things that you enjoy.
  • Believe in yourself.
  • Do not categorise your potential friends too hastily.
  • Practice understanding.
  • Take the initiative in discussions.
  • Simply inquire.

Who is an INTJ?

The INTJ personality type was developed by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers, the authors of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®). INTP is an acronym that stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging, four basic personality qualities based on the work of psychologist C.G. Jung.

Each of the four letters of the INTJ code represents a significant personality feature of this personality type. INTJs are stimulated by alone time (Introverted), like to focus on ideas and concepts rather than facts and specifics (iNtuitive), make judgments based on logic and reason (Thinking), and prefer to be planned and structured rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judging).

Because of their methodical, logical manner of thinking, INTJs are frequently referred to as Mastermind types. The INTJ is also known by the following nicknames:

  • The Conceptual Planner (MBTI)
  • The Architect (16Personalities)

INTJs are analytical problem-solvers who use their creative ideas to better systems and procedures. They have an uncanny ability to recognise areas for growth, whether at work, at home, or in themselves.

INTJs, who are often bright, love logical reasoning and complicated problem-solving. They approach life by examining the theory behind what they perceive, and their attention is usually drawn inward, to their own careful examination of the world around them.

INTJs are drawn to logical processes and are less at ease with the unpredictability of other people and their emotions. They are often autonomous and picky in their relationships, preferring to engage with intellectually challenging people.

INTJ Personality Type Characteristics Are –

  • INTJs make an effort to spend time alone and avoid huge groups of people.
  • INTJs concentrate on the overall picture rather than the specifics.
  • INTJs make judgments based on logic and intuition.
  • INTJs set lofty objectives for themselves and others.
  • INTJs read a lot in order to have a better knowledge of complicated issues.

What are these 7 ways an INTJ can make friends?

Sharp-witted and darkly funny, INTJs aren’t for everyone – and that’s fine with them. People with this personality type aren’t usually focused on being popular. They don’t waste their time and energy on just anybody and getting to know them might be challenging.

However, labelling this personality type as antisocial or unpleasant would be a mistake. INTJs like their own company and their own thoughts, but they also want meaningful relationships with others. In fact, few things excite an INTJ more than being involved in a discussion with someone who truly understands them.

It’s no secret that INTJs find it difficult to make friends. Their interests are profound, thoughtful, and beyond of reach of the “ordinary” populace since they are solitary by nature. 

Most INTJs would prefer to spend their time learning rather than engaging in illogical social rituals like a small conversation, gift-giving, and reciprocity. Other personality types may regard them as chilly, aloof, and distant due to this. However, no INTJ, no matter how socially averse, can survive in isolation. 

As a result, if you’re an INTJ, here’s a step-by-step approach to choosing people who will appreciate you and making the most of those valuable friendships.

INTJs can make friends with the help of the following 7 ways.

Change your perspective.

Introverts have fewer friends than extraverts, and INTJs are more likely to be “lone wolves” than other introverted types. Most INTJs will only have three or four close pals throughout their lives. 

The majority of their social interactions will be with acquaintances who will never become friends. This is perfectly OK. It just indicates you are discriminating.

The first step is to quit putting pressure on yourself to be more social. The amount of effort required to maintain hundreds of friendships would deplete your resources. Sit at home with a nice book if that’s what you want to do. When you are comfortable and ready, genuine friendships will emerge.

Do things that you enjoy.

Socialization is difficult for INTJs. Attending a party or social gathering is the most physically demanding job many of them can imagine. Fortunately, there are lots of more intimate settings where you’re more likely to meet others who share your interests.

Like-minded folks hang out in all of these areas, so get out and do what you enjoy. It’s then simple to start a discussion about the activity you’re doing and geek out together about it. Finding someone with whom you can share your thoughts is the best way to form meaningful friendships as an INTJ.

Believe in yourself.

Most INTJs have a list of criteria in mind before making friends with someone. These criteria must be met before the INTJ will become friends with them. 

Based on their beliefs and interests, those criteria will be different for each INTJ. Regardless of whether they acknowledge it or not, practically every INTJ will assess a possible buddy before committing to a friendship.

Some argue that this method is overly analytical and restrictive and that people should not be classified based on intangible measures of merit. However, it is preferable to trust your instincts. If they squander time on initiatives that have no future, INTJs feel betrayed.

It’s quite alright to keep note of what individuals say and do and dismiss them as friendship potential when they pass a line. Conversely, if someone checks all the boxes, reach out. It’s difficult to find someone who understands your bluntness, sarcasm, and black humour. You’d be dumb not to connect with a fellow NT or NF type if you come across one.

Do not categorise your potential friends too hastily.

When meeting new individuals, INTJs may be rather judgemental. They have a habit of dismissing potentially great friends based on a few basic characteristics.

It’s a mistake to categorise individuals. People may be interested in celebrity gossip, but they are likely interested in other things as well. They could also be interested in politics, philosophy, or science. 

They, like you, maybe desperate for someone who shares their interests so they can have exciting conversations. Alternatively, they may prefer entirely different things than you, but they put so much effort into them that you can’t help but admire their intelligence.

Many people who appear shallow are truly shallow. However, a few are not. Assuming that your early typing of other people is right is a mistake. As a result, give them a chance.

Practice understanding.

Most INTJs dislike overly sentimental displays of emotion. However, this does not imply that individuals do not experience intense emotions since they are not frequently visibly emotional. 

INTJs require friends who can accept that they sometimes lack empathy while still realising how much the INTJ feels for them. As a result, INTJs must exercise understanding in order to locate people who will do the same and make an effort to grasp their viewpoint. 

When INTJs are attempting to make friends, they should make an effort to comprehend, listen to, and keep up their communication skills.

Take the initiative in discussions.

How do you tell whether a new contact has the hidden depths you seek? Through casual conversation. You read that correctly. Small chat is fantastic for creating acquaintances, but most INTJs are unaware of its importance. 

That’s because they regard it as superficial, dull, and aggravating. At the same time, it’s actually the best method to toss out a bunch of ideas and collaborate with a possible buddy until you find something you both enjoy.

Nobody is proposing that you talk about shoes or the weather for hours on end. However, being open to these issues may help you get insight into your new acquaintance’s thoughts, assess their trustworthiness, and dig further until you discover common ground.

Simply inquire.

Making friends begins with putting yourself out there. You’ll need to be aggressive, make a polite request to meet up again, and not be upset if the other person says no, in addition to following the other guidelines.

Don’t be afraid to request what you want. It’s up to you to invite the other person to a casual breakfast, the movies, or anything you wish to do. Tell individuals you like them and want to be friends with them if you meet them. It literally only takes one sentence to say, “This was a good talk; it would be nice to meet up again.”

If it feels awkward to invite your new acquaintance out to a movie or supper, propose an activity that is similar to what you do together often. Sticking with what you know should make you both feel more at ease while also allowing you to develop a stronger bond.

Conclusion – 

This blog post attempted to answer the question, “How can an INTJ make friends?” and reviewed the features, functions, and various dimensions of this introverted Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality type called INTJ to help determine 7 ways that could help an INTJ make friends.  Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments you may have.

References –

Baker, M. 5 Steps to Making Friends with an INTJ. (2018, October 19). Retrieved from https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/10/19/5-steps-to-making-friends-with-an-intj/

How do INTJs make friends? Quora. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.quora.com/How-do-INTJs-make-friends

Thompson, J. The Female INTJ’s Guide to Finding Friends Who Get You. (2016, January 11). Retrieved from https://www.truity.com/blog/female-intj%E2%80%99s-guide-finding-friends-who-get-you

Baker, M. 10 Things INTJs Absolutely Must Have in a Friendship. (2020, February 4). Retrieved from https://introvertdear.com/news/10-things-intjs-absolutely-must-have-in-a-friendship/

How the hell does an INTJ make friends? Reddit. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.reddit.com/r/intj/comments/b42r19/how_the_hell_does_an_intj_make_friends/

Architect Personality INTJ-A / INTJ-T (WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?). 16Personalities. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.16personalities.com/intj-friends

Marissa. 10 Things INTJs Need In A Friendship. (2018, September 17). Retrieved from https://likeananchor.com/2018/09/17/10-things-intjs-need-in-a-friendship/

Joy. Six Things Your INTJ Friends Want You to Know. (2021, March 17). Retrieved from http://roomforjoyblog.com/six-things-your-intj-friends-want-you-to-know/

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