Let’s be honest, we have all looked up worse or dumber things on the internet than asking for advice on how to find out if a certain someone has feelings for you. Kudos to you, though, for looking up something as specific as trying to figure out how to know if a certain type of the Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator is falling for you. I’m loving the dedication you have to the INFP you have the hots for. So, without wasting any more of your time, let us go and find out how do you know if an INFP loves you?
While INFPs are known to be complex and mysterious, even they have their “tells” – the often cold-seeming individuals are actual fluff-balls on the inside. And how do we know that? Well, here are some pretty obvious signs an INFP is in love with you.
It’s when the silence feels comfortable, and no matter how much time you spend with one another – be it two hours or ten – it is always quality time, time that when you look back at, just feels… right.
This is how you know that the INFP you’re feeling all these things with, has actual feelings for you. Because you may have been told by people how the INFP you’ve been spending countless hours with, doesn’t feel at ease to be at a two hour event because it tires them out to be “constantly” surrounded by people. And it is true, INFPs are what I would like to call, severely introverted. They would much rather be by themselves and recharge their emotional batteries than be constantly around a person.
And the fact that spending all that time with you never seems to tire them out is actually a really great first sign.
That being said, don’t think this means that you can somehow convert an introvert into an extrovert. They are still going to need their alone time, it’s just for them to decide when that’s going to be.
Alone time with you.
If you want to know if an INFP loves you, maybe ask them if they’d like to hang out with you. If they sound eager and say yes to it, ask if the two of you can go out with some friends. The answer might not always be a blatant “no!” but even then, you’d be able to tell if it sounds like torture for them. If it does, don’t be offended. It is not about your friends, at all, but has more to do with INFPs not wanting to be the centre of attention at a gathering full of people.
But then again, you’re people too. And they were more than happy to spend time with you… You see where I’m going with this?
And let me clear two things.
- “Alone time” doesn’t automatically mean being sexually intimate. You could ask them to help you organize your closet with them, and as long as it’s going to be just the two of you, they’ll be more than happy.
- If you’re a person for whom their friendships are extremely important, being in love with you, an INFP will absolutely meet them with you. They’re really understanding and empathetic, so even though it is not ideal for them to be hanging out with a bunch of people they aren’t close with, they are going to show up and they will be happy to see you happy being around your people.
Bonus: if your friends are kind-hearted people who care for you, your INFP will actually make an effort to befriend them. Hanging out with them will make them happy, because they’re important to you. So, I suppose that’s also another sign in itself, no?
Emotional and physical affection.
Know that an INFP is in love with you, when they begin showering you with affection. In public, you might often catch them gazing at you like you’re the most incredible thing in the world. They will tell you all the different reasons why they love you, and open up to you about numerous ways you fit perfectly into their being.
An INFP may have a dominant Fi (meaning they feel things internally), but once they fall in love with you and trust you enough to let you in, they see you as a part of themselves. And they do not believe in hiding their feelings from themselves, so… saying that you’re in for one of the most intense experiences of your life would be an understatement. Because as good as INFPs are at feeling, they’re even better at ensuring you get to feel their feelings too. It may be a little difficult for me to explain with words, but definitely worth experiencing it for yourself.
With people around, INFPs may not be the most expressive, not verbally, and especially not physically. But if they love you, it will be really difficult for them to keep their hands off you for long. Expect quick pecks on your lips, your forehead, and – if you’re shorter – on the top of your head. All the while hoping that other people don’t notice, of course.
They might hold hands with you under the table too. But will get spooked easily if it is PDA that you’re looking for.
Appreciating the tiniest of things.
There are things about you an INFP may notice, but they’re so minute that even people who may have known you forever might have overlooked – and love you for them. INFPs are not really into the societal beauty standards. They find different, very random things about you that they’d write sonnets about if they could, because, to them, those are what make you your true, beautiful self.
They might observe that your left arm is shorter than your right, or that there’s a beauty mark exactly in the centre of your brow region. They will notice freckles and birth marks, how tiny your hands are in front of theirs, or how perfectly theirs fit into yours.
INFPs can be ridiculously spontaneous, and it shows. They might show up at your doorstep with flowers or call you and ask you to get ready within five minutes to go for a drive. When an INFP is in love, they will make random, meaningful gestures. When you’re in the car with them, they might put on a particular song that reminds them of you, or give you an electric hot-water bottle because of that one time you mentioned how your feet take forever to warm up at night during winters.
No foreigners to jealousy.
As you may already know, INFPs are feelers. They feel their emotions with a depth that no other type seems to be able to fathom. However, jealousy or envy is one of the emotions that the INFPs would be really happy never to feel. Which is why, they may struggle with letting you in when they turn in to a green monster. To them, envy is an ugly emotion, and it deserves to be hidden away so they don’t seem undesirable to the person they love.
That being said, there are ways to detect when an INFP is jealous. Even though they are compassionate people, and would be happy to oblige an ex of their partner having a hard time moving on, they will feel jealous and it might be detectable. They may come up with ideas that will sound absolutely absurd and unnecessary to you as someone who is head over heels for your INFP; they might suggest you to give your ex another chance, because what if there are unresolved feelings on both sides, or if they think you might find one of their friends attractive, they may hint that they will be okay if you ever want to go for it, and go as far as committing to help you get their friend to fall in love with you. And in their minds, they’re making all the sense in the world.
Kids, that’s what happens when you don’t let your emotions out the right way.
To conclude, INFPs fall in love hard. Once they are into you, their entire life becomes about you. And not in a creepy, Joe Goldberg way. They would still remember their responsibilities, and give importance to other people, and they’ll still cherish their alone time, as they did pre-you. On the surface, not much would change, but going deeper into the metaphorical cave that the INFPs are, it would be evident that their entire life now revolves around the person they’re in love with. When in love, INFPs do not like to hold back once they learn that their feelings are being reciprocated – they may at times seem a little too intense, but that is simply because they experience every single emotion to the highest of intensities.
When you’re the person they’re in love with, an INFP may be having dinner with their family, and all of a sudden – thanks to their expert abilities to play ‘what if’ scenarios in their heads using their vivid sense of imagination – they would picture you in that particular situation to imagine what you’d say or the way you’d react. A decision as miniscule as picking a place to have lunch with a colleague would include you; what place you’d have suggested and what not.
INFPs do not joke around when it comes to love. They are hopeless romantics and their faith in love is unmatched. So, I’d go as far as to say that if an INFP is in love with you, you’d know.
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