How does an ESFJ fall in love? (3 ways)

This blog post aims to answer the question, “How does an ESFJ fall in love?” and explore the characteristics, functions and behavioural tendencies of this Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality type to help understand the answer. 

How does an ESFJ fall in love?

An ESFJ falls in love in the following 3 ways –

  • ESFJs fall hard for their partner.
  • ESFJs give everything to their relationships.
  • ESFJs are serious about love and do not give up.

These 3 ways an ESFJ falls in love will be discussed in further detail below after taking a deeper look at what ESFJ means. 

Who is an ESFJ?

ESFJ is an abbreviation that stands for one of Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers’ sixteen personality types. 

Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging are the acronyms for Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging. ESFJ describes someone who is energised by spending time with others (Extraverted), who prefers to be planned and organised rather than spontaneous and flexible (Sensing), who focuses on facts and details rather than ideas and concepts (Sensing), who makes decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling), and who prefers to be planned and organised rather than spontaneous and flexible (Feeling) (Judging).

Because of their desire to help others in practical ways, ESFJs are frequently referred to as Provider personalities.

ESFJs are conscientious helpers who are sensitive to others’ needs and enthusiastic about their obligations. ESFJs are acutely aware of their emotional surroundings and sensitive to others’ feelings as well as others’ perceptions of them. ESFJs like a sense of unity and collaboration in their environment, and they are ready to please and offer.

ESFJs cherish tradition and devotion, and their family and friends are generally their main priority. ESFJs give freely of their time, effort, and feelings. ESFJs frequently take on other people’s problems as if they were their own, and they will try to utilise their considerable organising skills to bring order to other people’s life.

ESFJs follow a rigid moral code and want others to do so as well. ESFJs frequently perceive things in black-and-white, right-and-wrong terms, and they aren’t hesitant about voicing their assessments of others’ actions. 

ESFJs strive for peace and collaboration and believe that the best way to achieve this is for everyone to obey the same set of norms. 

ESFJs have a sense of order in how people interact with one another, and they frequently take on responsibilities that allow them to assist in enforcing that order.

ESFJs have a strong feeling of personal responsibility for the needs of others and are typically willing to participate and assist. ESFJs are usually serious and realistic, putting duty above pleasure, especially when it comes to caring for others. ESFJs prefer regularity and frequently follow a set of rules that helps them to be organised and productive.

Characteristics of ESFJs. 

  • ESFJs take pleasure in assisting people.
  • ESFJs require approval.
  • ESFJs expect people to recognise and appreciate their nice and giving ways.
  • ESFJs are aware of other people’s needs and feelings.
  • ESFJs are able to respond quickly and provide the care that individuals require.
  • ESFJs wish to be liked by others.
  • Unkindness or disinterest may easily injure ESFJs.
  • External sources, such as the community at large, rather than intrinsic, ethical, and moral norms, are used to form ESFJs’ value system.

ESFJs who have been reared with high values and standards are more likely to become generous adults. Those who were raised in a less enriched environment, on the other hand, are more likely to have warped ethics as adults and to be manipulative and self-centred.

ESFJs are likewise driven by a need to assert control over their surroundings. People with the ESFJ personality type benefit from organising, planning, and scheduling in order to feel in control of their surroundings. ESFJs are born with an innate desire to comprehend others. 

ESFJs pay close attention to others and are skilled at encouraging and bringing out the best in others. People are drawn to ESFJs because they are so skilled at making others feel good about themselves. ESFJs are not pushovers, despite their desire to please others.

What are these 3 ways an ESFJ falls in love?

ESFJs fall hard for their partner.

While ESFJs may appear apprehensive at first, they fall hard when they do. ESFJs genuinely care about the people in their lives and want to do everything possible to make them happy. When the ESFJ falls in love with someone, it’s a feeling that they can’t shake and will endure for a long time. 

ESFJs form a strong bond with these individuals and think about them frequently. It is hard for the ESFJ to fall in love with someone without sacrificing everything they have, especially when they feel a unique connection. There are a plethora of things that the ESFJ may fall in love with, a plethora of attributes that entice them and inspire them.

It is sometimes something deep within a person that puts the ESFJ in perilous situations. ESFJs fall in love with someone’s heart and who they are on the inside, and they occasionally try to help them better themselves and their life. 

It’s about more than what’s on the surface for the ESFJ, and when they fall in love with someone, they’ll go out of their way to aid them and see the best in them. This also entails remaining loyal to and defending their loved ones in the face of adversity.

ESFJs give everything to their relationships.

When they love someone, ESFJs give it their all, which includes going above and beyond to make them happy. ESFJs will put forth a lot of effort to meet their partner’s requirements, and they will look for methods to assist them in improving their life. 

ESFJs are very sensitive to other people’s feelings and needs, and they will go to great lengths to alleviate their problems and tension. When the ESFJ detects their partner’s distress, they will go above and beyond to help them.

ESFJs want to be the ones that others turn to when they’re having problems, doing whatever it takes to make them feel secure and joyful. When caring for someone, the ESFJ finds it tough to hold back since they think about them frequently and are always worried about their well-being. 

When they are in love, the ESFJ would do almost everything for the person they love most in the world, which is why they give their whole heart. While some people are preoccupied with themselves and their own wants, the ESFJ prioritises others.

When caring for someone, ESFJs prioritise that person, typically thinking of them before they think of themselves. ESFJs put a lot of effort into making others happy, especially when they sincerely care about someone. 

This might be difficult at times since ESFJs can become exhausted from caring for others around them. ESFJs need to be valued for all they accomplish, which is a crucial aspect of being with an ESFJ.

ESFJs are serious about love.

ESFJs take love very seriously, and they place a high value on commitment when it comes to the person they love. When the ESFJ falls in love with someone, they want to be able to commit to them and to their possessions. 

This is also something the ESFJ looks for and values in a mate, therefore they seek out someone who can commit to them. This isn’t to say they won’t enter that stage before the relationship is ready; it just means they want to know the person they’re with is capable of it. 

The ESFJ will be turned off by someone who is flighty and manifestly incapable of committing and remaining faithful.

ESFJs want to know that the person they love is capable of sticking by their side and is genuinely interested in making things work. When the ESFJ notices that this isn’t the case, they may begin to doubt the partnership. 

ESFJs have a strong capacity for commitment and actively seek it out in relationships. ESFJs want to be with someone who can make them feel this way, therefore this is an important aspect of any romantic relationship for the ESFJ.

ESFJs do not give up. Even when circumstances are difficult, ESFJs will battle for the person they care about. ESFJs are capable of putting in long hours for their connection and are willing to go to any length to make it succeed. 

When the ESFJ falls in love and commits to someone, they want to make sure the connection will continue. ESFJs will fight for and stand for this individual even when no one else would. 

This can be difficult for the ESFJ at times since they will work hard for someone they care about, even if that person does not always return the favour.

ESFJs will keep pushing to make things work out, but this may get exhausting after a time. It’s crucial for their spouse to be giving and thankful as well, especially if they want to maintain the ESFJ long-term. 

While the ESFJ will go above and beyond for the person they love, if their partner wants things to last, they must reciprocate and demonstrate that they care as well.

Conclusion – 

This blog post attempted to answer the question, “How does an ESFJ fall in love?” and reviewed the characteristics, functions and behavioural tendencies of this Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality type to help determine how an ESFJ falls in love. Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments you may have.

References –

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Stafford, S. ESFJ Love: How the ESFJ Falls in Love. (2019, November 11). 

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Alderson, J. ESFJ Compatibility & Relationships. (2021, May 12).  Retrieved from

ESFJ Relationship Guide – Compatibilities, Dating, Best Matches & Love. HIGH5TEST. (n.d.). Retrieved from

How does an ESFJ feel loved? Quora. (n.d.). Retrieved from

Lawrence, A. Signs an ESFJ Personality Likes You. (2022, March 3). Retrieved from

Grossmann, C. 10 Reasons Why Falling In Love With Someone With An ESFJ Personality Type Is So Easy. (2018, June 7). Retrieved from

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