How does an insecure person act? (5 ways)

This blog post aims to answer the question, “How does an insecure person act?” and explore the various characteristics, behaviours and mindsets of an insecure person to help understand the answer. 

How does an insecure person act?

An insecure person acts in the following 5 ways – 

  • Critiquing other people.
  • Worrying about the future.
  • Never saying no.
  • Seeking reassurance.
  • Being passive-aggressive.

What are these 5 ways in which an insecure person acts?

Critiquing other people.

People that are insecure frequently criticise others in order to feel better about themselves. Insecure people frequently feel horrible about themselves. Additionally, individuals frequently lack the knowledge of good or useful ways to feel better. 

As a result, they frequently criticise other people. Overly critiquing others can ultimately make you feel guilty and worse about yourself, which will only increase your insecurity.

But in the very near run, we feel better by contrast when we criticise others. The goal of constructive criticism is to improve the world. Self-improvement is the goal of unhelpful criticism.

Stop inflating your sense of self with criticism if you want to feel less uneasy. Because it will ultimately just produce trouble.

Worrying about the future.

Many people persuade themselves that their persistent anxiety is essential or even unavoidable since someone needs to consider the drawbacks in the future. However, successful planning and problem-solving are fundamentally different from worrying.

Worry is, by definition, thinking negatively about the future. Although planning and problem-solving can be challenging since they are negative, they are constructive and generative and produce outcomes. Worry just produces tension and anxiety in the now and low self-esteem and uncertainty in the future.

Never saying no.

Being frightened to reject people is one of the main reasons insecure individuals remain that way. Never saying no results in you living other people’s lives rather than your own, which is a problem.

And how could you ever expect to feel safe and confident in yourself if you spend months, years, or decades not living your own life? You’re teaching your mind that what you want isn’t that essential every time you say yes to someone else at the expense of yourself.

You must learn to advocate for yourself and your own needs and goals if you want to feel more comfortable. Never forget that your needs and wants are equally as important as anybody else’s.

Seeking reassurance.

One of the worst behaviours when it comes to making us feel uneasy is seeking reassurance. You’re actually telling yourself you can’t handle things on your own when you often seek affirmation. If you keep telling yourself that, eventually you’ll start to doubt your ability to manage anything.

Receiving assurance feels satisfying at the time. However, the long-term damage that persistently seeking reassurance does to your confidence is the true issue. You will never learn how to make yourself feel better if you are constantly depending on other people to make you feel better. 

And you’ll feel quite uneasy if you secretly think that you’re not able to support yourself in coping with emotional anguish and struggle. Develop the ability to bear momentary worry if you want to feel safer and more confident.

Being passive-aggressive.

When you want something but are too terrified of controversy to outright request it, you communicate in a passive-aggressive manner. So instead, you use deceptive manipulative techniques to get others to donate it to you.

This is the worst type of communication because it mixes hostility and the need to control other people with passivity and the fear of asking for what you want. People who are passively hostile mask their hostility so they won’t be held accountable for it.

For instance, often arriving late to events is frequently a kind of passive aggression since you’re attempting to achieve your goal of having more time to yourself without accepting responsibility for it or risking criticism.

Being passive-aggressive only temporarily “works.” Sure, you could obtain what you want from people right now, but soon they will get weary of it and quit participating in your game.

People who are passive-aggressive frequently become isolated and bitter. And while they could put the blame on others, they’re actually angry with themselves for lacking the confidence to be open and forthright with others. Insecurity is certain to result when self-resentment and loneliness are combined.

The good news is that practising assertive communication will help you become less passive-aggressive. It is a highly trainable ability, particularly if you start off modest and gradually advance.

What is insecurity?

Insecurity is a typical emotion that virtually everyone will experience at some time in their lives, and it can come from a variety of causes. It usually manifests as a lack of self-assurance, uneasiness, and uncertainty. 

A person may reduce the negative effects of insecurity by trying to precisely recognise and treat it. They can regain security, stability, and a feeling of value, which drives them toward pleasure and enhanced well-being.

Insecurity, according to the American Psychological Association, is complex. It refers to a general feeling of insecurity or concern about your own worth, abilities, skills, and value as a person, with the message that you’re in danger from something or someone. 

Insecurity can have physical, mental, or emotional consequences. You can’t fully trust or perform to your full ability until you have security.

What are the symptoms of insecurity?

  • “An overriding feeling of inadequacy,
  • A lack of self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth,
  • Like they are unable or ill-equipped to cope with stressors,
  • Generally uncertain about the world,
  • Anxious about their relationships with others”

What are the different types of insecurity?

Insecurity can come from a variety of places and affect different aspects of your life. Because various people’s insecurity has diverse causes and consequences, one person’s insecurity may appear to be entirely different from another’s. 

Relationship insecurity, social insecurity, body image insecurity, work insecurity, and insecurity of basic requirements are some of the most frequent types of insecurity.

Relationship Insecurity.

When a person feels insecure in a relationship, he or she is hesitant to be vulnerable and trust others. An insecure individual may be hard to believe what they are hearing or that they would follow through on their promises of behaviours and activities. 

These challenges have an impact not just on the person, but also on the others with whom they are striving to form relationships.

Social Insecurity.

A lack of confidence in one’s own abilities to do well and succeed in social situations is a common symptom of social insecurity. Social insecurity, like other types of anxiety, is mostly caused by a person’s fear of what could happen in the future rather than what has happened in the past. 

The signs and symptoms of social insecurity sometimes coincide with those of social anxiety.

Someone who is socially insecure could be concerned about –

  • Having an uncomfortable appearance
  • Making a nasty or inappropriate remark
  • Being unable to add to the debate because of a lack of intelligence
  • Not being able to comprehend humour

Body Image Insecurity.

Body image insecurity makes it difficult to appropriately assess one’s physical appearance. They may spend too much time and energy thinking about how they appear, rather than having a balanced assessment of their traits. 

Specific concerns might be broad or limited to a single body area, such as the nose, ears, knees, or teeth. Some people may be insecure because they believe they are being criticised by others, while others will judge themselves harshly more than anyone else could.

Job Insecurity.

Job insecurity is characterised by a sense of inadequacy in the workplace. They may have a lot of doubt, confusion, hesitation, and uncertainty about their job, and they may feel like frauds all of the time. 

Students at all levels of school may feel insecure, causing them to doubt their intelligence, capacity to write a well-written paper, and ability to apply information as needed. People with job and school uncertainty encounter issues such as low grades, poor work performance, and leaving things incomplete in either scenario.

Basic Need Insecurity (Food, Housing, Health).

It’s difficult to achieve in life when you don’t have adequate food, housing, or health. When a person is unsure of where their next meal will come from, where they will sleep at night, or how long their physical and mental health will last, they are unable to dedicate enough energy to other elements of life.

Physical and psychological problems arise as a result of this high degree of stress.

Conclusion – 

This blog post attempted to answer the question, “How does an insecure person act?” and reviewed the various characteristics, behaviours and mindsets of an insecure person to help determine how an insecure person acts. Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments you may have.

References –

Patterson, E. Insecurity: Definition, Causes, & 7 Ways to Cope. (2022, April 6). Retrieved from https://www.choosingtherapy.com/insecurity/#:~:text=Poor%20decision%2Dmaking%20skills%20and,used%20to%20conceal%20true%20feelings

Whelan, C. 15 Secret Signs You’re Actually Really Insecure. (2021, July 6). Retrieved from https://www.rd.com/list/signs-youre-actually-insecure/

Whitbourne, S. K. 4 Signs That Someone Is Insecure. (2015, November 17). Retrieved from  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201511/4-signs-someone-is-insecure

Signs of Insecurity. WebMD Editorial Contributors. (2020, November 17). Retrieved from  https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-insecurity

Wignall, N. 5 Habits of Highly Insecure People. (2020, September 20). Retrieved from  https://nickwignall.com/5-habits-of-highly-insecure-people/

How to smell an insecure person. TNN. (2017, November 23). Retrieved from  https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/love-sex/how-to-smell-an-insecure-person/articleshow/39817055.cms

Renner, A. 10 Things Insecure People Do That Slowly Destroy Their Lives. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-things-insecure-people-that-slowly-destroy-their-lives.html

Ali, A. 16 Signs A Person Is (Extremely) Insecure. (2019, June 30).  Retrieved from  https://thatnameasif.medium.com/signs-of-insecure-people-abd2022360a1

Guerrere, M. 6 Signs of Insecurity in a Relationship. (2022, February 14). Retrieved from  https://www.brides.com/insecurity-in-relationships-5105358

LaConte, S. People Are Sharing Their Telltale Signs That A Person Is Insecure And It’s Painfully Real. (2019, October 24). Retrieved from  https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/signs-people-are-insecure-reddit

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