Loving an INFP better

If you’re in a relationship with said INFP, it means that they have finally allowed you into the metaphorical cave shrouded in mystery that they are. But even now, at times, you find yourself confused, baffled at something that they just said or did not say, did or didn’t do. Do you want to know how to be with them and understand the best way to be in harmony with them? I’m here to help you figure out how to love an INFP better.

Here are a few things you need to know about your INFP partner that are going to help you develop a long lasting emotional connection with them that is built on understanding and mutual trust. 

INFPs feel things internally. 

You may do something sweet for them – like bring flowers for them, or get them a book they used to love as a child but could no longer find – and think that maybe they’re not that emotions. It may bother you too, how they never seem to have an appropriate reaction to anything. But it is important for you to know that your INFP partner is known for feeling their emotions quite intensely. The only thing is, their feelings are introverted. As in, they may not always be able to express the way they’re feeling at any given moment, but the depth with which INFPs feel things is unmatched by most people. 

What you can do to help make things easier for both of you, is to allow them to express their feelings the way they’re most comfortable with, or the way they know how. Because even though INFPs don’t overtly express themselves and their feelings, they definitely use more creative means to do so. So, look out for a piece of painting they may draw for you, or a poem or song that they may write. Maybe they’ll write you a letter, and it always helps to focus on the kind of music they play when you’re with them. 

INFPs do not like to be forced to talk about or feel their feelings. 

This is also a very important piece of information. While your INFP partner may trust you with their deepest of secrets, they do not appreciate being rushed through their emotions. At all. Say, your partner is going through a hard time; maybe they’ve just lost a job, or a loved one, or maybe they’ve just had a bad day. If you try to get them to talk about it, or constantly ask them about their feelings, chances are, they will only get irritated and retreat further into their shells. 

Since they feel internally, INFPs need to work through their emotions and get an understanding of them on their own before they can share them with someone else. What you can do in such situations is simply let them be. This does not mean leave them alone, not at all. I’m merely suggesting that you be around, let them process their feelings, maybe hold their hand if you feel like it is the right move, and wait for them to open up to you. Get them comfort food, if you can. That always helps. Another thing that helps is if you can take them out on a drive, or put on a movie or TV show that brings them comfort. 

INFPs get jealous easily. 

This one may be a hard pill for you to swallow, because you may rarely be able to detect jealousy in your partner’s tone, but trust me on this. Even though INFPs are all about allowing their emotions to take over, if there’s one emotion they are actually afraid of showing, its jealousy. 

INFPs do not want their partner to see them turn into ugly green monsters, and so, they try to pretend like things that would bother any normal human being, don’t affect them. 

They’re empathetic beings, INFPs, and so, they may be able to be compassionate about an ex of yours feeling like they haven’t moved on, and so they’re reaching out to you. They find the people they fall for to be some of the most attractive people, and so they may also be understanding if another person were to develop a crush on you. But chances are, they’re actually really uncomfortable, and since they aren’t confrontational and would like to avoid getting into a conflict at any cost, they may communicate things in a very passive-aggressive manner. 

The might suggest that you try and give your ex a try, or that the person who is attracted to you seems like an amazing human being, and give you an out. But don’t get offended by it. And hopefully you don’t say the wrong thing that might, in any way, suggest that you’d go for it if you weren’t with them. Just put their doubts to rest, laugh at them for even suggesting such dumb things. It helps, really. 

Planning/overly planned things freak INFPs out. 

Since they rely heavily on their feelings to navigate the world, INFPs struggle with structure. They get spooked and step back if they have to come up with a schedule for something or are trapped in a tightly organized, sequenced schedule for a project. They believe in having some room for them to get their creative juices flowing. So, be it a work thing, or a home project, like clearing out the closets, it is best to avoid structuring and planning everything down to a T. 

It helps when INFPs are left to do things their way. Even if that may not always be a possibility for them at work, at home, INFPs could certainly benefit from being given their creative freedom to do chores or other things in their personal life. 

INFPs are all about helping other people.

We have discussed how INFPs can be extremely jealous. But if insecurity is something you often struggle with, this one’s really important for you to understand. Being the empaths that they are, INFPs often devote their time and attention to people who need their help. They have it engrained into their souls to reach out to people and get to know about their lives and situations, in order to gain a better understanding of how they can make their lives’ easier. They’re introverts, so they don’t usually attend many social gatherings, and prefer to talk to people one-on-one. It allows them to focus their energy on the person who needs them to listen or give advice.

Moreover, INFPs are very adamant about their values. They do not stray from their beliefs. And they’re loyal beings who believe in following through with their commitments. They let you in, because they trusted you to never break their heart, and they will try their best never to break yours.

Intuition is everything to INFPs.

When an INFP gets close to people, they do so because their intuition guided them to. Plus, their intuition is extraverted; which means that before settling on a decision, they go through countless ‘what if’ scenarios in their heads. So, know that once they’ve made their decision, they are more than sure about it. 

At the same time, that extraverted intuition gives INFPs the ability to create an imaginative world so deep and vivid, they can almost live in it if they could. For this reason, they make for very interesting sexual partners! They love to role-play, make up different scenarios that they’d love to play out with their partner, and their imagination is boundless; so, be brave and try out your weirdest fantasies with them. They will surely be appreciative of it. 

INFPs are Introverts.

This goes without saying, but INFPs are severely introverted. They can and will go to gatherings with you, and be the best host for whenever you have people over. But that does not mean that they always enjoy to do that. They will do these things because they care for you, and dare I say, maybe even love you. But at the end of the day, they will be emotionally exhausted and are going to need alone time to be able to recharge their batteries. 

They are always going to enjoy spending time with you, but they will still need time with themselves. What you can do to love your INFP better, is if it’s possible, avoid taking them out with you too much. And when it’s just the two of you, try not to always want to socialize or do something exciting. It is nice to sometimes just order in some food, sit back and enjoy quiet time, hold hands, read to one another, or engage in different activities that your partner may enjoy. I assure you, your INFP will be more than appreciative of you for being considerate about their needs in such a way. 

Lastly, I would just like to say this: Even though INFPs are not the best when it comes to expressing their feelings out loud, be there to communicate yours. Ask, rather than assuming. Let them know how you’re feeling, open up to them, trust them enough to let them in and see what makes you happy and sad, your fears and insecurities and everything there is for them to know about you. When an INFP loves you, they have a need to get to know you deeply. They will notice little things about you, and work their hardest to make your life easier. So, in a way, you allowing them inside of who you are is also, in a way, going to help you love them better.