The INFP personality type might prove to be a tough nut to crack. It’s not that they’re complex beings, though. An INFP may appear to be mysterious and complicated, but they’re attracted by some of the simplest things in people. Alright, maybe not all that simple, because they can come off as unwelcoming to and uninterested in most people and things.
But that’s exactly why I’m here! Let’s not waste any more time and learn what attracts an INFP.
Above everything else, INFPs are attracted towards what is authentic. They aren’t afraid of things becoming messy, and they don’t get scared off easily. These introverts find themselves being attracted to people who aren’t afraid to reveal their true selves. Self-identity matters to INFPs, because they themselves are constantly in the pursuit of finding out who they are, how they’re growing and evolving, and the flaws they may have.
These people are in-tuned with their identities, so when it comes to the very small circle of people that they surround themselves with, INFPs go for people who aren’t lost, and who they are and are not afraid to show it.
Real and raw.
INFPs may appear to be mysterious and closed off, but when it comes to people they trust and are close with, INFPs are always honest and genuine. Similarly, INFPs are attracted to other people their vibe matches with. They would take a real, raw conversation over something fake and smooth any day. INFPs aren’t afraid of diving deep into the pool of truthfulness and honesty, and they are drawn to other people who can open up and be unfiltered and sincere with both their words and actions.
Like I said, authenticity matters to them, and so, they wish to be told the truth about a person’s identity before they let them in.
This may sound strange to some people, but the people who have an INFP or two in their lives understand that they feel their emotions with a great depth and intensity. This makes most INFPs sensitive and they take pride in feeling a full range of emotions, which allow them to become a real human being.
Most people attribute sensitivity to be a feminine trait, and so, are often turned off by people, especially men who can feel and express their emotions without feeling inadequate. INFPs, on the other hand, are extremely attracted to sensitivity, and believe it to be one of the most important traits for a fully formed, healthy adult to possess.
If you’re a person who is sensitive to the feelings and needs of other people, an INFP would definitely find you to be worthy. They don’t like insensitive people who go through life like they’re at war with everyone else, and steer clear of bullies who make it their life’s purpose to harm and traumatize other human beings.
I’m certain that’s not a word, but it is absolutely true. Extremely loud people spook INFPs. They are introverts. They do not like to attend a lot of social gatherings, and definitely don’t appreciate being forced to interact while at one. However, when they do find themselves to be amongst a group of people; they prefer to be sitting in a corner, in their tiny bubble of bliss, eating something, observing people, reading a book, or even talking to someone they love.
INFPs get attracted towards people who can form full sentences and are patient and calm enough to make their words make sense, in a gentle, soothing tone of voice. The last thing they want is to be around an excessively loud person who not only brings all the attention to themselves, but forces an INFP into it too.
It is true that INFPs are empaths. That simply means they have the ability to absorb what a person may be feeling at any given moment. They take in facial expressions or lack thereof, observe spoken as well as unspoken words, body language, and they keep their focus on the eyes. Oh, the eyes, Chico, they never lie. Sorry for going all Scarface on you, but it’s a fact that the eyes often end up revealing more than spoken words do, and an INFP knows that.
They care about other people’s needs and like to take care of them. They are naturally helpful and empathetic, and tend to gravitate towards people who show the same care to fellow humans, animals, and plants alike.
It is true that INFPs love to have conversations they can fully indulge themselves in. What an INFP is attracted to, more looks or money, is to have someone they can indulge into deep conversations with. As you are already aware, these introverts appreciate real and raw discussions and healthy arguments. Being highly imaginative, they find it attractive if someone entertains their never ending ‘what if’ scenarios, and their weird ideas; someone with whom they can discuss the meaning of life and its many mysteries.
Good sense of humour.
INFPs love to laugh. They are attracted to people with whom they can hold a meaningful conversation, but can also laugh their heart out with, upon being told inappropriate and dark jokes. INFPs love joking around and being silly and lame, and there’s nothing more attractive to them, than someone who can keep things light-hearted, making the time they spend together memorable and filled with joy.
INFPs are drawn to kind souls. They try their best to be kind and refrain themselves from causing harm to anyone, and so, they are attracted to people who stand up for the underdogs, try to make the world a better place, and help other people, without having any ulterior motives. I’d like to say once again for emphasis, bullies and people who harm others just for the sake of creating chaos, are heavily despised by INFPs.
INFPs are attracted to intelligence, and appreciate people who can utilize their talents and minds in a unique way. They believe in thinking outside the box, and tend to be adamant about rebelling against a standardized world. INFPs possess high levels of emotional intelligence, and they are attracted to people being able to successfully navigate their way in the world. An INFP who possesses both inter as well as intrapersonal intelligence – meaning, they’re incredible with understanding and reading other people, while also being in complete touch with their own cognitive patterns – seeks other people who have the same level of intellect as them.
INFPs have a point of view about the world which is distinct and unique from most. They have their own way of approaching topics, and they absolutely love to take a deep dive into complex concepts that other people may shy away from. This is why they often feel unchallenged and find most conversations to be dull and uninteresting.
Someone who can match an INFP’s intellect, or better yet, complement it, is highly attractive to these odd introverts. They also love to learn and experience new things, interact with people who can expand their worldview, and open their eyes to concepts they may never have even thought of exploring.
INFPs are not built for casual dating. They are more often than not Demisexual, which means that they feel sexually attracted to people with whom they can form emotional connections. They feel disconnected and are disinterested in the idea of hooking up people, just for the sake of having fun. They may force themselves into a Friends with Benefits sort of situation every now and again, but they almost instantly realize that they’re not built for this.
INFPs are in love with the idea of love. They long to feel genuine connections, and are exhilarated by developing real and deep bonds with fellow humans.
As an INFP, I can vouch for it that these introverted feelers are high-key attracted to the thought of committing to one goal, one person, and then sticking to their decision, especially when things get complicated. They understand that infatuation or physical attraction are not enough to inspire a long term commitment, and try to look for individuals they can feel an emotional attraction towards.
People who stick to their values and principles are also highly attractive to INFPs, as they always hold on firmly to what they believe in, and try to live their lives by these values that are so deeply engraved into their beings.
An INFP may lose interest in someone who has all the above mentioned qualities, but lacks in commitment; be it related to career, family, relationships, or their own well-being.
Now that you have sort of a checklist of some of the things that INFPs are generally attracted to, you can try and introspect, and figure out whether you possess of these qualities and traits naturally. Rule number one is to always be authentic, so you will know if you’re a good fit for an INFP or not, by simply standing by it. Because, even if you don’t relate to most of the above written points, you being your real self, unfiltered and unedited, may just tilt the boat in your favour.