Why are INFPs so lonely? (5 reasons)

This blog post aims to answer the question, “Why are INFPs so lonely?” and explore the various dimensions of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality type named INFP that will help understand the answer. 

Why are INFPs so lonely?

INFPs are so lonely because of the following 5 reasons –

  • INFPs find it difficult to be understood. 
  • INFPs do not feel unconditionally valued and cared for.
  • INFPs find being so distinct and unusual to be a hardship.
  • INFPs lack the deeper connection they desire. 
  • INFPs might find it difficult to connect with others.

These 5 reasons why INFPs are so lonely will be discussed in further detail below after taking a deeper look at what INFP means. 

Who is an INFP?

The INFP personality type was developed by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers, the authors of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®). INFP stands for Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, and Perceiving, which are four key personality qualities based on C.G. Jung’s work.

Each of the four letters of the INFP code represents a significant personality feature of the INFP personality type. 

INFPs are stimulated by alone time (Introverted), focus on ideas and concepts rather than facts and specifics (iNtuitive), base their decisions on feelings and values (Feeling), and like to be spontaneous and flexible rather than planned and structured (Perceiving).

Because of their empathetic idealism and gentle concern for others, the INFP personality type is often known as the “Healer.” The INFP is also known by the following nicknames:

  • The Thoughtful Idealist (MBTI)
  • The Mediator (16Personalities)

An INFP prefers an unstructured and free-spirited lifestyle. INFP is an introverted and ultra-creative Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality type. The INFP is sensitive, creative, and loyal to their values.

INFPs are creative idealists who are guided by their primary ideals and beliefs. A Healer who is preoccupied with possibilities; the actuality of the time is merely a fleeting concern. INFPs see the possibility of a brighter future and seek truth and purpose in their own unique way.

INFPs are sensitive, loving, and compassionate people who are highly concerned with their own and others’ personal progress. INFPs are individualistic and nonjudgmental, believing that each person must forge their own path. 

INFPs like spending time investigating their own ideas and ideals, and they gently encourage others to do the same. INFPs are creative and frequently artistic; they like discovering new ways to express themselves.   

INFP Personality Type Characteristics Are –

  • INFPs are introverts who are quiet and reserved. INFPs find that being in social situations depletes their energy, thus they prefer to connect with a small number of close pals. While they like being alone, this should not be mistaken for timidity. Rather, it simply implies that INFPs get energy from alone time. INFPs must, on the other hand, devote energy to social circumstances.
  • INFPs rely on intuition and are more concerned with the overall picture than the finer points of a situation. INFPs can be quite thorough about things that are important to them or tasks they are working on, yet they tend to overlook little or insignificant details.
  • INFPs value personal sentiments above everything else and their actions are affected more by these concerns than by objective data.
  • INFPs prefer to keep their choices open when it comes to making decisions. INFPs frequently put off making key judgments in case the circumstance changes. The majority of judgments are made based on personal ideals rather than reasoning.

What are these 5 reasons why INFPs are so lonely?

INFPs find it difficult to be understood. 

Because their beliefs are so unique and particular to them, INFPs frequently feel lonely. They frequently believe that others do not “understand” them or that their ambitions are too lofty for this planet.

They want a world that is kind, imaginative, and beautiful. They frequently fantasise about mental utopias that they’ve had from infancy. 

INFPs frequently express feelings of loneliness because they envision possibilities and futures that no one else does. In their quest to live up to their personal beliefs and ambitions for a better world, they frequently feel alone.

INFPs might be lovely and pleasant, yet they typically suffer from loneliness. Even when surrounded by people, INFPs might feel lonely at times, and this is something they struggle with and don’t completely comprehend.

They may even believe that something is wrong with them, especially if they don’t understand themselves or don’t have skills to help them understand themselves, such as recognising their personality types.

For the INFP, feeling connected to someone and having formed a lasting relationship that helps them feel understood and valued is crucial.

Because INFPs are an uncommon personality type, they often feel misunderstood. The INFP may feel isolated from others if they believe no one truly knows or appreciates who they are.

INFPs do not feel unconditionally valued and cared for.

They still feel lonely even though they are surrounded by people who love them because they do not feel unconditionally valued and cared for.

They may adore these individuals, yet they do not feel heard when they express themselves. This might drive the INFP to withdraw even further, as they don’t feel secure sharing who they are and how they feel.

This makes the INFP’s loneliness much worse, as they begin to isolate themselves out of fear. They do not want to do this, but after being rejected so many times, they believe it is their only alternative.

INFPs find being so distinct and unusual to be a hardship.

Being so distinct and unusual might be a hardship for the INFP, especially if they don’t understand why they are different. They may blame themselves or believe that something is wrong with them, although this is not the case.

When the INFP is younger, this is something that overwhelms their thoughts, which is why understanding yourself is so vital for the INFP to grow and gain confidence.

INFPs require a lot of alone time, but it doesn’t imply they desire to be isolated from others. They want to be able to form significant connections even when they aren’t physically present.

INFPs lack the deeper connection they desire. 

The INFP does not feel lonely merely because they are alone; rather, it arises from a lack of appreciation and understanding. INFPs don’t require regular engagement to feel connected to others; they simply require a deeper connection than meets the eye.

INFPs require a lot of alone time, which might make them feel alienated from those who don’t understand. Some people don’t really understand introverts, thus they don’t understand why the INFP prefers to be alone.

They may misinterpret this requirement and conclude that the INFP just does not want to be with them. This is something that may be difficult for INFPs throughout their life, especially when they are younger and don’t completely comprehend their own need.

It is critical that they discover people who understand their need for space and alone time while also understanding that the INFP still desires to be connected to others. 

Being someone who seeks intimacy and connection but still requires alone time can be perplexing for INFPs and others around them.

INFPs might find it difficult to connect with others.

INFPs might find it difficult to connect with others at times, and they don’t want to rush into connections that aren’t significant to them. This is a continual struggle for INFPs, especially when they feel compelled to form relationships that elicit passion and excitement.

They don’t want to merely make friends or enter into relationships that aren’t meaningful, therefore it’s difficult for them to meet individuals with whom they can truly connect.

This isn’t to say that INFPs don’t like people; they just don’t experience the same intimacy or spark as others. It might be difficult for them to locate individuals with whom they can connect, and as a result, they frequently feel misunderstood or as if they will never be able to truly satisfy their loneliness.

Conclusion – 

This blog post attempted to answer the question, “Why are INFPs so lonely?” and reviewed the features and functions of the introverted and extremely inventive Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality type named INFP to help determine why INFPs are so lonely. Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments you may have.

References –

Stafford, S. INFP Loneliness: Why INFPs Feel So Lonely. (2019, October 29). Retrieved from https://personalitygrowth.com/infp-loneliness-why-infps-feel-so-lonely/#:~:text=INFPs%20feel%20alone%20sometimes%20even,don’t%20fully%20understand%20themselves.&text=Feeling%20like%20no%20one%20really,INFP%20feel%20disconnected%20from%20others.

How can an INFP deal with loneliness? Quora. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.quora.com/How-can-an-INFP-deal-with-loneliness

Corin. Why We Feel Lonely, Part 1. INFP Blog. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.infpblog.com/why-we-feel-lonely-part-1

Storm, S. The Loneliness of Each Myers-Briggs® Personality Type. (2021, May 26). Retrieved from https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2021/05/26/the-loneliness-of-each-myers-briggs-personality-type/

Are feelings of loneliness more common amongst INFPs? Reddit. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.reddit.com/r/infp/comments/4ikl5l/are_feelings_of_loneliness_more_common_amongst/

Why are INFPs so lonely? (n.d.). Retrieved from https://psichologyanswers.com/library/lecture/read/170274-why-are-infps-so-lonely

Albers, N. 4 Reasons Why INFPs Like Sad Things. Introvert, Dear. (2018, July 24). Retrieved from https://introvertdear.com/news/infp-personality-drawn-to-sadness/