Why are INFPs so selfish? (5 reasons)

This blog post aims to answer the question, “Why are INFPs so selfish?” and explore the various dimensions of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality type named INFP that will help understand the answer. 

Why are INFPs so selfish?

INFPs are so selfish because of the following 5 reasons –

  • INFPs are standoffish and eccentric.
  • INFPs disappear often without any notice.
  • INFPs shut people out when feeling hurt.
  • INFPs don’t give second chances. 
  • INFPs don’t often reciprocate your emotions.

These 5 reasons why INFPs are so selfish will be discussed in further detail below after taking a deeper look at what INFP means. 

Who is an INFP?

The INFP personality type was developed by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers, the authors of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®). INFP stands for Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, and Perceiving, which are four key personality qualities based on C.G. Jung’s work.

Each of the four letters of the INFP code represents a significant personality feature of the INFP personality type. 

INFPs are stimulated by alone time (Introverted), focus on ideas and concepts rather than facts and specifics (iNtuitive), base their decisions on feelings and values (Feeling), and like to be spontaneous and flexible rather than planned and structured (Perceiving).

Because of their empathetic idealism and gentle concern for others, the INFP personality type is often known as the “Healer.” The INFP is also known by the following nicknames:

  • The Thoughtful Idealist (MBTI)
  • The Mediator (16Personalities)

An INFP prefers an unstructured and free-spirited lifestyle. INFP is an introverted and ultra-creative Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality type. The INFP is sensitive, creative, and loyal to their values.

INFPs are creative idealists who are guided by their primary ideals and beliefs. A Healer who is preoccupied with possibilities; the actuality of the time is merely a fleeting concern. INFPs see the possibility of a brighter future and seek truth and purpose in their own unique way.

INFPs are sensitive, loving, and compassionate people who are highly concerned with their own and others’ personal progress. INFPs are individualistic and nonjudgmental, believing that each person must forge their own path. 

INFPs like spending time investigating their own ideas and ideals, and they gently encourage others to do the same. INFPs are creative and frequently artistic; they like discovering new ways to express themselves.   

INFP Personality Type Characteristics Are –

  • INFPs are introverts who are quiet and reserved. INFPs find that being in social situations depletes their energy, thus they prefer to connect with a small number of close pals. While they like being alone, this should not be mistaken for timidity. Rather, it simply implies that INFPs get energy from alone time. INFPs must, on the other hand, devote energy to social circumstances.
  • INFPs rely on intuition and are more concerned with the overall picture than the finer points of a situation. INFPs can be quite thorough about things that are important to them or tasks they are working on, yet they tend to overlook little or insignificant details.
  • INFPs value personal sentiments above everything else and their actions are affected more by these concerns than by objective data.
  • INFPs prefer to keep their choices open when it comes to making decisions. INFPs frequently put off making key judgments in case the circumstance changes. The majority of judgments are made based on personal ideals rather than reasoning.

What are these 5 reasons why INFPs are so selfish?

INFPs are standoffish and eccentric.

INFPs aren’t generally the sort to indulge in meaningless chitchat at a party, and because some of them are socially uncomfortable, they’re more likely to be the lonely ones in the corner.

This is true in practically every scenario in life. INFPs have days when they are completely absorbed with their friends and the rest of the world. 

On other days, they’re lost in their own thoughts, doing their own thing. Or, fending off a panic attack/hiding the inner anguish they’re experiencing without letting others in on it.

INFPs’ ability to connect with friends is strongly dependent on their energy, which is heavily reliant on their emotions’ volatility. INFPs require alone time to reboot and recharge their batteries before they can be sociable.

INFPs may feel compelled to make plans with their friends on the spur of the moment, but when the time comes, they withdraw because their internal system is out of whack and not conducive to human interaction.

It’s generally unfriendly, but INFPs would rather skip a meeting than show up and give our all. They value their relationships and, at times, take them so seriously that they would rather not offend them with their internal issues.

INFPs disappear often without any notice.

INFPs are more likely to be socially isolated. They have an inner sacred zone where they withdraw when things get too real for them since they are prone to feeling misunderstood.

Many of them have a large number of acquaintances but just a few actual friends, and even fewer people they can trust and open up to. As a result, they may shut down and shut everyone out when they hit a stumbling block or get overwhelmed or nervous.

It can take the shape of not returning calls/texts/emails from friends, not following through on plans, deleting all of their social media accounts, and living as a hermit for a while until the inner storm passes.

INFPs shut people out when feeling hurt.

INFPs have distinct energy, and anything they don’t say will be mirrored in their actions. INFPs, on the other hand, find it difficult to be confrontational since they are mediators.

INFPs value harmonious relationships over our personal feelings, so if they’re unhappy, they’re more likely to shut down rather than bring it up. INFPs go into seclusion to work things out inside.

INFPs channel the energy within to prevent becoming a massive Pompeii that destroys everything in its path. INFPs may look distant and cold-hearted at this time, and our friends are taken aback because this is not who they are. 

If, on the other hand, the harm was inadvertent, INFPs will gradually recuperate and turn the corner.

INFPs don’t give second chances. 

INFPs will not give you another opportunity if the harm is genuine, purposeful, and includes a breach of trust or boundaries. INFPs place a high emphasis on trust and values.

Because they are typically compassionate and caring individuals, it may take them some time to reach that breaking point (or not, depending on what caused the breakup), but once they do, they don’t go back, especially considering how much time they spend studying all things emotional. 

If they cut you out of their lives, it implies they revisited the situation, relived the pain, balanced their alternatives against the seriousness of the offence, and created a mental spreadsheet of the benefits and drawbacks of keeping you in their lives.

When it comes to their values being trespassed, INFPs go to tremendous lengths to make the people they care about happy, but it’s an ice and hazardous road you don’t want to travel down.

INFPs will appear harsh, unreasonable, inflexible, and impolite in this situation, but no matter how horrible they feel about it, they will not apologise for doing what they believe is necessary to protect themselves and support their ideals.

INFPs don’t often reciprocate your emotions.

It’s strange and disrespectful, especially when you expect us to jump to the roof after receiving good news, but instead, they give you a yes, grin, and go on to the next thing on their to-do list.

INFPs have a lot of feelings, and many of them realise at some time in their lives that not everyone can manage their intensity, therefore they don’t divulge much.

Some individuals find INFPs “very powerful,” even when they only reveal our sentiments on the surface, thus INFPs prefer to keep a poker face. When an INFP disengages from a conflict and simply walks away, they may be perceived as rude and cold.

They must select their disputes twice as carefully as other personality types because of their sensitivity. If it means avoiding an argument, they may have to look like a punk and say nothing to keep their inner peace.

INFPs might be tough to comprehend. When their values are shared and respected, though, they may be laid-back and fun-loving, getting along with others.

INFPs are worth appreciating even if they don’t always make sense to you. No one can match their love for you, even if it manifests itself in the oddest and most unexpected ways.

Conclusion – 

This blog post aimed to answer the question, “Why are INFPs so selfish?” and reviewed the features and functions of the introverted and extremely inventive Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality type named INFP to help determine why INFPs are so selfish. Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments you may have.

References –

Mathias, M. The Dark Side of INFP Personality. (2021, July 13). Retrieved from https://www.mathiasway.com/infp-dark-side/#:~:text=But%20as%20much%20as%20we,start%20of%20INFP’s%20massive%20selfishness.

Why do INFJ tend to think INFP are selfish and unhealthy? Quora. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.quora.com/Why-do-INFJ-tend-to-think-INFP-are-selfish-and-unhealthy

Top 5 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy INFPs. Tumblr. (November 28). Retrieved from https://thestarsinmycupofcoffee.tumblr.com/post/103848800430/top-5-differences-between-healthy-and-unhealthy

INFP selfishness? Personality Cafe. (2019, June 26). Retrieved from https://www.personalitycafe.com/threads/infp-selfishness.1312463/

Dealing with being ‘selfish’ as an INFP? Reddit. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.reddit.com/r/infp/comments/288ryr/dealing_with_being_selfish_as_an_infp/

Unpopular opinion: INFPs are the most selfish of all “F” types. Reddit. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://amp.reddit.com/r/mbti/comments/gndgp7/unpopular_opinion_infps_are_the_most_selfish_of/

Storm, S. The Unhealthy INFP. (2018, March 15). Retrieved from https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/03/15/the-unhealthy-infp/

Chea, C. 10 Contradictory Things About INFPs. Introvert, Dear. (2016, October 14). Retrieved from https://introvertdear.com/news/contradicting-things-about-the-infp-personality-type/

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